Handicapped
by Raiv0n
Summary: "Can't you just use Total Concentration Breathi-" "I got asthma ya dick." (OR: How to slay demons, without the magic breathing powers)


_**"Can't you just use Total Concentration Breathi-" "I got asthma ya dick." (OR: How to slay demons, without the magic breathing powers)**_

* * *

_Name: Kobushi Haikan_

_Age: 17_

_Rank: Mizunoto_

_Hair: Brown, Wavy, Short_

_Eyes: Green_

_Height: 169cm_

_Weight: 60kg_

_Breath Style: N/A_

Kochou Shinobu sighed as she looked over the patient's files. Really, considering how the Natagumo Mountain situation spiralled so quickly out of control, it's a surprise how this kid managed to end up with the _least _amount of injuries.

She looked over to the other three recruits that were the most involved.

Kamado Tanjirou: Numerous lacerations across his body, along with broken ribs and hairlines fractures along the right arm.

Agatsuma Zenitsu: Was poisoned and nearly underwent complete metamorphosis into a spider. Broken ribs.

Hashibira Inosuke: Heavily damaged larynx and trachea; constantly fading between consciousness and unconsciousness. Broken ribs.

And then there was him.

Kobushi Haikan: Scrapes and bruises.

From what the report told her, Kobushi Haikan made direct contact with the Older Sister Spider Demon, a superior demon that managed to cut through their ranks with great ease.

And he came out barely unscathed?

What?!

She sighed.

What exactly happened?

* * *

Murata was scared.

Scratch that, he was _positively terrified_.

Why?! Why did he have to run into a demon of such strength?!

Hell, why did he even apply to join the Demon Slayer Corps?!

The pay is trash, the missions are endless, and no one even respects him!

And _now_ he's about to get wrapped up by this crazy bitch!

_FUCK!_

Except, before her threads could finish encircling him in a sphere of death, he was suddenly yanked out of the way. It was with a hair's breadth that he managed to escape from the clutches of his demise. By the time he could think rationally again, he was around 20 paces away from the demon.

"Fuckin' hell man! Don't make the asthmatic guy run!"

Murata glanced behind at the male grabbing on to his back. Was that a bamboo tube sticking out of his mouth? "Uhm, thanks for the save!"

His saviour stared back at him. "You can thank me by staying outta the fuckin' way."

And on that note, he shoved Murata behind him.

"Aight, now that that's done and dusted, onto the pale ass bitch." Haikan turned to face the demon.

"Tch, you think you're strong, don't you? Don't worry, I'll prove just how wrong you are." The demon started walking towards them, sedately and calmly, akin to a lion stalking it's prey.

Haikan took a long drag from his bamboo tube, before pulling it out of his mouth and exhaling a smoky breath.

"Aight man, stay behind me and don't move. I'm holdin' the fort."

Murata panicked. "What?! Aren't you gonna attack her?"

"Nah."

"But why?"

"I don't got the strength to kill the bitch in a straight fight."

"Can't you just use Total Concentration Breathin-"

"I got asthma ya dick."

"...is it because you're smoking?"

"Nah. My lungs got fucked since birth man. Smoking calms me down."

"But isn't that counterprodu-"

"Utter one more fuckin' word, and I'm hightailing outta here without ya!"

Murata wisely shut up.

"Smart boy ya are."

Haikan reached into his backpack and procured...two guns?

"Wait, where's your kata-"

"What'd I say?"

Murata snapped his mouth shut.

Haikan sighed. "If ya must know, I don't got one. After all, why let an asthmatic run into close combat? That's a fuckin' death wish."

Haikan levelled the twin-barelled flintlock in his left hand at the demon, and fired. The two bullets struck home on the demon, striking her in the stomach. Unfortunately, they failed to carve through her body, and although there certainly was blood gushing from the wound, she didn't seem too bothered.

"Oh? That's it?" She laughed demurely and fluttered her eyelashes. "And after all that big talk, this is all it comes to? What a shame. Don't you know demons have regenerative abilities? My my, I expected more out of you."

Proving her point, the gaping flesh wound around her stomach started to close in, and the bullets that were in her body were starting to be pushed out.

Murata puked at the sight.

"So what now, human? Will you sit there and wait for your demise?"

In response, Haikan cracked a grin.

"I gotcha now, ya bloody cunt."

Haikan squeezed the trigger on the right flintlock. The two bullets hit their mark, and hell followed.

The Spider Demon's body exploded from the inside of her stomach. Chunks of demon guts flew skyward, leaving only her lifeless lower body to fall over, like a puppet with its strings cut.

After a few moments, her head once again returned to the ground, where it rolled until coming to a stop before the two slayers.

"You! You..." The head snarled.

Haikan pointed at himself dramatically. "Me."

"What did you do to me!?"

He smirked. "Hollow sun steel bullets filled to the brim with gunpowder on the inside. They're durable enough to bury into a demon's body without breaking, but brittle enough that striking it with another bullet will cause 'em to shatter. The kinetic force and friction produced ignites the gunpowder, sendin' sun steel shrapnel all throughout the demon's body in an explosion o' death."

The demon saw red. "How dare you! Once I regenerate my body, nothing will stop me fro-"

A Nichirin Blade slid right through her head, ending her life before she could even finish her sentence.

"Idiot, who the fuck monologues on death's door?" Haikan scoffed.

Murata blinked. That katana looked an awful lot like his.

He looked to his hip, where only his sheath was present, then back to Haikan, who ripped the katana out of the now fading demon's head.

He didn't even sense his sword being drawn!

How fast was this guy?!

"Geez, forgot how tiring swinging a sword is. Thanks for the assist, man." Haikan dropped the blade into Murata's trembling hands, before starting a trek down the mountain.

"Let's get the fuck outta here, I need a bath."

For once, Murata agreed with him.


End file.
